Courage helps when chastity a struggle

By JEFF GRAHAM
From The B.C. Catholic - Most Catholics, whether single or married, can relate with the struggle to live a chaste life. The struggle may be different for almost everybody, particularly for those with a same-sex attraction, but it is a very common stumbling block.

It took Henry, a man who struggles with same-sex attraction, some time to realize that virtually everyone has some sort of struggle with chastity. He said he had felt alone in struggling with chastity, especially as a Catholic who was fighting same-sex impulses, until he got involved in Courage.

The primary focus of Courage, a group that helps Catholic men and women deal with same-sex attraction, is to help its members deal with stumbling blocks to chastity. It supports its members through prayer, offers them a safe environment to share their struggles, and challenges them to live holy lives.

"I was no longer an isolated individual with a poor-me attitude," he said, "and I realized the call to chastity is not only directed toward gay men."

It took Henry quite a while to realize this, however.

Henry was born and raised Catholic in France, but fell away from his faith and embraced a homosexual lifestyle during university. Henry went on to have numerous relationships and got heavily involved as an activist in Winnipeg for people with same-sex attraction.

He said his activism wasn't just because of personal beliefs, it was also for protection. "We kept on getting killed," he said; "there had to be some kind of organization.

The group he was a part of not only fought for civil rights, but also began to organize on a moral level by helping in shelters for the homeless and by volunteering in various social justice groups. Henry said he was often amazed at their kindness and compassion.

"There is a hunger for spirituality," said Henry of many of these people, "and they are doing God's work."

Henry eventually joined the Metropolitan Community Church, which he says is "commonly known as the gay church."

He explained that the church appealed to his Catholic sensibilities, and had the outward appearance of a Mass, but "it was a parody of the Catholic Church."

"It did not feed me; it did not satisfy," he said. "It was open to two agendas."

"It didn't answer any of my questions in terms of direction."

Henry says these questions caused him to search again, and rediscover his Catholic roots.

"Two people were influential: a very good priest, Father John Horgan, and the prayers of my mother."

Henry said one of Father Horgan's talks particularly affected him. He said Father Horgan challenged listeners to question the worldly definition of freedom, which he argues generally says freedom is directly related to more choices. Father Horgan proposed freedom as the freedom to be excellent, rather than the freedom to choose different things.

"What is freedom; am I free? That relationship between choices and freedom is wrong."

"More choices eventually entrap you," he said. "Pornography, for example, isolates you, and it becomes an addiction and is contrary to God's law."

Henry came back to the Church and later got involved with Courage. Support from the group, he said, has kept him going.

"Courage takes more than the tiny issue of same-sex attraction and is directed towards the call to holiness."

Courage helps to cultivate virtue and has helped Henry grow in a deeper personal relationship with God. It has also given him practical ways in which to live his faith.

"We're getting some graces, and some strength to lead a chaste life," he said. "We're also getting the grace to be able to ask for these graces."

"A lot of people cannot formulate the prayers to ask to be better."

Henry said Courage is helping him become something better.

"There is something so much better. I want the best, I want to be the best. Ultimately it's what we're leading to."

"When God handed me a lemon with same-sex attraction, I made lemonade."

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